As Comedy Central so often does they give a new show the good lead-in of South Park. There has been a variety of misses and a few hits.  Many times coming off the high of South Park, I’ve often failed to immediately change the channel. This channel change laziness allowed Mind of Mencia a chance to horrify me with his bland brand of humor. I say horrify because its a horrible experience to watch the show not because his humor is so controversial that I am left shocked or shaken.

It’s fairly obvious that Mencia was brought in as a replacement for Dave Chappelle. After Comedy Central’s big gamble then ultimate disappointment with Chappelle you can understand why they thought this lesser version would work.  I’m sure they wanted to just break the in case of emergency glass and hoped their extinguisher would do the job of a fire department……or some other totally ridiculous comparison. Regardless its pretty obvious that Mencia doesn’t fill Chapelle’s shoes in the slightest. I have to wonder if Dave Chappelle realized what he’d be leaving us with that perhaps he’d feel the pixie sketch  wasn’t so bad.   Of course I’ve thought this since Mind of Mencia debuted. However I could be wrong. After all the show has lasted 4 seasons and averages 1 million viewers.  Surely a million people can’t be wrong. I watched Mind of Mencia last night to find out.

Was I wrong?

FUCK NO! Carlos Mencia couldn’t be funny if Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks and Andy Kaufman came back from the grave and wrote for him. He’s a horrible, horrible comedian and if he really does steal then yes the obvious joke is he steals purely unfunny crap. Why are people watching this show? Honestly there are many other Latino comics out there if you must have Latino flavored comedy in order to laugh. Seriously people! Go out to your local comedy club, purchase a cd, or hell just watch reruns of George Lopez because in the end you’re getting more laughs from those sources than you are from Carlos Mencia.

Thank God this season is over. God help us when Comedy Central does the stupid thing and gives him another.

The Urban Dictionary has never been more accurate

n.
The absolute worst television show ever aired, or, for that matter, concieved by man. It is a void, a black hole completly empty of any mirth or comedy whatsoever. It is a momentous failure of mankind and God. It is the humor equivalent of Absolute Zero; so blatantly unfunny that it can only be achieved through a controlled laboratory setting. This leads some to believe that Mind of Mencia was, in fact, created specifically as an experiment to find the most unhumorous idea possible, but it’s hard to imagine that any but the most sadistic would even contemplate unleashing such an abhorrition as MoM on the world.

Also, vb: Mencian
Something so horrible it compares to the calibur of the unholy blight itself, Mind of Mencia. It has yet to be used seriously, because come on, let’s face it, nothing is that fucking bad.

So if there is an upside of not being able to go to Comic Con this year, it is that I don’t have to make the tough decision of what panels to attend. There’s just way too many good stuff going on, and I’m only focusing on the television side!

All the television related panels, along with my top five choices behind the cut.

10:00-11:00 Kings: Exclusive Sneak Peek of the Pilot Prologue Screening and Q&A with Cast and Executive Producers— Kings is a contemporary re-imagining of the timeless tale of David and Goliath, an epic story of greed and power, war and romance, forbidden loves and secret alliances, and a young hero who rises to power in a modern-day kingdom. Be the first to see the prologue from the two-hour pilot. Moderated by Greg Grunberg (Heroes), with Q&A with creator/executive producer Michael Green (Heroes), director/executive producer Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend), executive producer Erwin Stoff (I Am Legend), and the cast: Golden Globe winner Ian McShane (Deadwood), Chris Egan (Resident Evil: Extinction), Sebastian Stan (Gossip Girl), Susanna Thompson (Star Trek: Voyager) and Allison Miller (Seventeen Again). Room 6B

10:00-11:30 Comic-Con Film School 101: Preproduction and Screenwriting— For the fifth year in a row, Comic-Con Film School returns with a four-day, hands-on, nuts-and-bolts series of classes on how to make a movie for very little money, using available video technology and desktop postproduction software. Whether you’re shooting your first Zelda fan film or that story about the leather-clad girl who hunts werewolves, this course will take you from script to DVD so that you, too, can enter your own movie into the CCI: IFF. This first class covers the specifics of preproduction on the cheap, including screenwriting, casting, scheduling, location scouting, crewing-up, getting equipment for nothing, and so on. Panelists for the class include Matt Kohnen (NYFA, writer/director of Wasting Away), Valerie Perez (producer/star of Paula Peril—Trapped in the Flames and Tears of the Dragon, a Lara Croft Fan Film), Nick Murphy (director of Tears of the Dragon), Aaron Shoenke (director of Batman Legends and Patient J), and Sean Rourke (writer/director of 1st Person Shooter). Room 26AB

10:30-11:30 Freaks, Geeks, and Tiny Toons— Warner Home Video brings the hit animated television series Tiny Toon Adventures and Freakazoid! to DVD on July 29. This panel features Bruce Timm (storyboard artist, character designer), John McCann (Douglas Douglas, Hero Boy story editor), Paul Rugg (Freakazoid writer), Sherri Stoner (writer, producer, story editor), Paul Dini (writer, story editor), Jean MacCurdy (executive producer), Rich Arons (producer, writer, director) and Andrea Romano (voice director). They’re tiny, they’re toony, they’re all a little loony! Executive produced by Steven Spielberg, Tiny Toon Adventures is a Daytime Emmy Award animated series that spawned a whole new generation of madcap Looney Toons characters, including Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, and Hamton J. Pig, among others. Freakazoid! aired for two seasons. Also executive produced by Spielberg, this Daytime Emmy Award–winning series chronicles the adventures of Freakazoid, a manic, insane superhero who battles a vast array of supervillains. Room 6A

11:15-12:15 30th Anniversary Battlestar Galactica Panel— Richard Hatch (Tom Zarek/Apollo), Bear McCreary (BG composer), producer Tom DeSanto (Transformers, X-Men), Dr. Kevin Grazier (science consultant), and surprise guests present an in-depth discussion of the Battlestar universe from the classic to the re-imagined and beyond, including BSG trailers and Q&A. Room 6B

11:30-12:30 Hasbro: GI Joe— As Hasbro ramps up for the summer 2009 blockbuster movie release of GI Joe, Aaron Archer (Hasbro Design), Michael Ritchie (Hasbro Marketing), and Michelino Paolino (Hasbro Design) discuss this year’s product line, entertainment, and other initiatives. Panelists will include special guests that you won’t want to miss, plus Q&A! Room 7AB

11:45-12:45 Knight Rider: First Look at the New Series and Q&A with Cast and Executive Producers— On the heels of NBC’s hit sequel movie based on the iconic 1980s television classic, Knight Rider has been reinvented as a supercharged action series showcasing the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand). Be the first to see exclusive footage from the new series. Moderated by Television Week deputy editor/columnist Josef Adalian, who participates in a Q&A session with executive producer/showrunner Gary Scott Thompson (The Fast and The Furious, Las Vegas); executive producer David Bartis (Heist, The OC); and the cast: Justin Bruening (Cold Case), Deanna Russo (NCIS), Sydney Tamiia Poitier (Veronica Mars), Paul Campbell (Battlestar Galactica), Yancey Arias (Kingpin), Bruce Davison (X-Men) and Smith Cho (Blades of Glory). Room 6A

12:00-1:00 Doctor Who— Writer Russell T Davies (Doctor Who), executive producer Julie Gardner (Torchwood), and writer Steven Moffat (Doctor Who) discuss their creative process and experience working on the BBC’s Doctor Who—Britain’s most successful sci-fi franchise—with exclusive clips and a Q&A session. Ballroom 20

12:30-1:30 William Katt: Greatest American Hero Comic— Join Alex, Justin, and Pete from Pulp Secret for one of the biggest announcements at this year’s Comic-Con, an event that’s been 25 years in the making. Catastrophic Comics’ William Katt (Greatest American Hero), Christopher Folino (Gamers), and Derek McCaw (Fanboy Planet) along with Arcana Studios’ Sean O’Reilly (The Clockwork Girl) are on hand for an interview and Q&A. Room 7AB

1:00-2:00 Torchwood— Writer Russell T Davies (Doctor Who), executive producer Julie Gardner (Torchwood), writer Steven Moffat (Doctor Who), and actors John Barrowman, Gareth David-Lloyd, Naoko Mori and Burn Gorman discuss their creative process and experience on working on BBC America’s highest-rated show ever—Torchwood— followed by a Q&A session. Ballroom 20

2:00-3:00 The Middleman— Creator and executive producer Javier Grillo-Marxuach (Lost) and The Middleman actors Matt Keeslar (Dune) and Natalie Morales (CSI: Miami) discuss the bizarre world of The Middleman. Based on the graphic novels by Javier Grillo-Marxuach, The Middleman follows the surreal life of twenty-something Wendy Watson as she gets recruited by a top secret agency to fight comic book-esque criminals under the guidance of her straight-laced boss, The Middleman.Room 5AB

3:00-4:00 Wizard’s First Rule— A first look at the upcoming action-adventure series Wizard’s First Rule with book author Terry Goodkind and show executive producers Robert Tapert (Xena: Warrior Princess), Kenneth Biller (Star Trek: Voyager) and Sam Raimi (Spider-Man). The one-hour weekly television show premiering late fall is inspired by Terry Goodkind’s bestselling epic fantasy series: The Sword of Truth. The story follows the journey of Richard Cypher, a simple woodsman, as he discovers the magical powers he holds within. With the help of a mysterious woman and a powerful wizard, he must use his newfound abilities to stop a ruthless tyrant from unleashing an ancient evil and enslaving the world. Join Terry, Rob, Ken and Sam for a moderated interview and audience Q&A session! Room 6B

4:00-5:00 TV Costume Designers— Characters created by writers and comic book illustrators are made real for the screen via the artistry of costume designers. Meet the women and men who are the costume designers on this year’s most popular television productions. Panel moderator Jacqueline Saint Anne (Quantum Leap), past president of the Costume Designers Guild, Local 892, hosts costume designers Shawna Trpcic (Firefly), Roland Sanchez (Lost), Amanda Friedland (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), and Cynthia Bergstrom (Buffy, The Vampire Slayer). Room 4

4:15-5:15 Afro Samurai: Resurrection Exclusive Worldwide Premiere!— Afro Samurai picks up his sword once again for the second installment of this critically acclaimed, funktastic anime! This action-packed panel features the creators behind the hit, including star and executive producer Samuel L. Jackson (The Spirit), original creator Takashi Okazaki, musical artist The RZA (Kill Bill), and executive producer Leo Chu (Spike TV). Be the first to see the worldwide premiere of the exclusive Comic-Con trailer, dazzling artwork from the manga, and never-before-seen demos of the pulse-pounding video game. Room 6B

4:30-5:30 HBO’s True Blood— Based on the popular Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris, True Blood is created by Alan Ball, creator of HBO’s Emmy-winning series Six Feet Under. The series takes place in the not-too-distant future, when, thanks to the invention of synthetic blood, vampires no longer need humans for their fix and can walk freely, if not yet comfortably, among their living counterparts. With their integration into a small Louisiana town causing a stir, a love story ensues between Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin, the X-Men films; Academy Award winner for The Piano), an innocent waitress with the unusual ability to read minds, and vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer, The Starter Wife). The series also features Ryan Kwanten (Summerland), Rutina Wesley (How She Move), Sam Trammell (Judging Amy), and Nelsan Ellis (The Inside). True Blood debuts September 7 exclusively on HBO. Room 6CDEF

4:45-5:45 “SCREAM” Like a Girl— Spike loves women. And the coolest women on the planet are the ones who destroy aliens, defeat serial killers and battle evil villains with their superpowers! In honor of Spike’s ScreamAwards 2008—the first and most important televised event that celebrates the genius creative talent behind the powerhouse Hollywood genres of comic books, science fiction, fantasy and horror—Spike brings you a candid discussion of these genres from the women they love, who are poised to rule the fanboy’s universe! Moderator Kevin Smith (Clerks), the brilliant writer, director, and comic book genius hosts an all-female panel of actresses, artists, writers, directors, and producers, including Gale Ann Hurd (Terminator, Terminator 2), Lucy Lawless (Xena, Battlestar Galactica), Jaime King (The Spirit, Sin City), and Pia Guerra (Y: The Last Man), in a discussion about working in these genres from their unique point of view. Twenty lucky panel attendees will win tickets to the 2008 Scream Awards. Ballroom 20

5:45-6:45 Showtime: Dexter— Showtime presents exclusives from the set of the highly anticipated third season of Dexter. Moderator Kristin Dos Santos (E!) presides over this revealing interview and Q&A session with the top stars and executive producers of Dexter, featuring Michael C. Hall, Julie Benz, Clyde Phillips, and John Goldwyn, plus a special guest! Room 6CDEF

6:00-7:00 Life, Death, Life of Star Trek— You’ve heard a lot of hype about sci-fi’s first franchise lately, now it’s time to see what it’s all about and celebrate an illustrious 40 years of boldly going with this regular panel of unpaid, uncensored Treksperts, who pay homage to Trek’s past and future with some special surprises and exclusive audio-visual treats you’ll only see here. Daren Dochterman (ST: TMP Director’s Cut Special Edition), Robert Meyer Burnett (Free Enterprise), Jeff Bond (The Music of Star Trek), and moderator Mark A. Altman (Free Enterprise) talk Trek like no one else can…or will. Room 2

6:45-7:45 Robotech Industry Panel— Tommy Yune, director of Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles, covers the history of the animated series that introduced a generation to anime and discusses upcoming new releases in the wake of the announcement of the live-action feature film. Room 6B

7:00-9:00 Comedy Central TV Funhouse with Robert Smigel— Creators Robert Smigel (Saturday Night Live) and Dino Stamatopoulos (Morel Orel) and producer Tommy Blacha (Metalocalypse) reunite to discuss and show highlights from the most groundbreaking show to ever hit (and subsequently disappear) from basic cable. Join the guys (along with the Anipals and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) to relive the glory of the best show you barely remember in conjunction with the long anticipated release of the series on DVD. Room 6CDEF

Like I said, top choices ahead for anyone going there. It’s like Sophie’s Choice but for nerds. My own, in no particular order:

Freaks, Geeks, and Tiny Toons— You got Paul Dini and Bruce Timm discussing Freakazoid. Come on! What else do you need?

Hasbro: GI Joe- Some will argue that this belongs in movie, but the only GI Joe I know is from the cartoon, so I’m curious how this comes out.

HBO’sTrue Blood— I’m a fan of vampire in popular fiction, and while I have never read the books this series is going to be based on, the marketing so far intrigues me.

Wizard’s First Rule— Sam Raimi is an executive produce on this. One can only hope that this means we’ll have the fun and campiness of the early seaons of Hercules and Xena. Insert dancing and emo haircut jokes here.

Robotech Industry Panel— While Robotech might not have been the first anime I ever saw on TV, it still remains on of my favorites. I been hearing of a new movie for forever it seems, so maybe this will shed some light on their plans.

Keep in mind, those are just the television related panels. If I was there, I dont’ even know if I could attend any of these, as there are tons of others that I’m interest in.

7 Shows for 7 days.

7 listings that are truly worth your time.

Monday

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Relive the first time you saw live action turtles being funny, having random inexplicable accents, fighting crime, and overall being really awesome. Can you think of another cartoon to live action movie that comes close? Yeah that’s right. I didn’t think so. TMNT will be on ABC Family at 8/7C

Tuesday

Tuesday’s option was a Tossup between From G’s to Gents and Hurl.  One show seeks to help people change their outlook on life and the other wants you to be disgusted yet entertained for 30 minutes.  Sad but true the winner has to be Hurl.  Hurl will feature game show contestants eating insane amounts of food and then trying to keep it in the stomachs. Mmm yummy.  One could only imagine what the horror is like inside their bodies and luckily before the end of the show we’ll get to see it come out. Yes,  many will say its another sign of the apocalypse.  We’ve heard the same about Fear Factor, Celebrity Big Brother, and Tila Tequila’s Shot at Love but it may actually prove true here. Regardless you should at least see the first show and judge if this show makes you ready for the end.  G4 9/8C

Wednesday

Dog the Bounty Hunter. Gosh I love when a racist gets a second chance. No seriously I do. Proving that he’s apparently more buoyant than  Michael Richards.  The other recently infamous N-word guy comes back to television. Way to stick to your guns A & E. That hiatus really made me think your principles were more important than ad dollars. Actually it’ll be interesting to see who pays for advertising time during this show. That will be more interesting than anything on the show. Well unless Dog decides to go to South Compton to hunt someone down and then IT’S ON! A & E 9/8C

Thursday

Reality Bites Back is a reality spoof with comedians and it really is worth your time to watch. Its funny and it makes you realize that Comedy Central gives us a laugh or two even when The Daily Show/Colbert report take vacations away from their TV family to spend with their families who don’t create LJ Icons proclaiming their love. Michael Ian Black hosts and his mocking is among the best. You won’t regret tuning in for just 5 minutes of this show so go for it. Comedy Central 10:30/9:30C

Friday

Hell to the Yeah! Psych is finally coming back. Shawn and Gus are incredibly funny together and I’m sure this season will be just as great.  Despite the fact that apparently Gus is leaving the Psych business, I feel that somehow (as if by TV magic)  the rift will be resolved and we will continue to have fun watching them solve  mysteries together. Cybil Shepard will be adding her  insanity to the mix.  I’m sure it wont be as amusing as her appearance on a certain British television talk show but hopefully close enough. USA 10/9C

Saturday

Eli Stone. In this episode that finally brings George Michael and Eli Stone together , we find George helping a young fan. This is another of a line of really funny, charming, and entertaining shows that Eli Stone offered during its short but enjoyable season.  Since many of you probably didn’t see this episode the first time around then you might as well watch it now and realize you were pretty stupid not to watch it the first time ABC 10/9C

Sunday

The 2008 Espy’s are being hosted by JT. It’ll be a night full of sports related sports stuff with ya know sporty things happening and okay I will only be watching it for JT but that’s really enough to make it worth a viewing. He will either fall on his face with his hosting duties going all awry or he’ll be funny and interesting along with the slew of Sports and Entertainment Industry celebrities cavalcading through to honor all that ESPN has deemed award winning. ESPN 9/8C

I think I’m going to call it at 9:14pm on Wednesday April 2nd. It’s an odd thing to have to admit. I hate to do it. After a handful of episodes that were either “okay” or “alright”. After saying “it had its moments” many times. After waiting for the WGA episode knowing they’d take the strike and make it hilarious and then… I am ready to admit that it just isn’t going to be a good season. It’s happened before and its happening again. Turn your televisions away from South Park people. It officially sucks it hard.

Project Runway airs on Bravo at 10/9c

2) Reno 911!–They’re taking our jobs and the Reno sheriff’s department is aiming to stop this. They’ll head to the border to help out with patrolling. This will be a stunning success like all their other ventures.

Reno 911! airs on Comedy Central at 10:30/9:30c

3) Moment of Truth–Of course everyone is just now catching up to my favorite guilty pleasure. It took a marriage ending tragically in a sick voyeuristic manner for you guys to see what I saw weeks ago–AWESOMENESS! See what you’ve been missing and more tonight!

Moment of Truth airs on FOX at 9/8c