Posted by bunnyfear - Filed under: TV Thoughts

I know this is  a TV blog and that is why I write this. My first memory of Michael Jackson is also my first memory of life is also my first memory of television. I remember as a baby touching the TV (one of those big floor units). I was hoisting my baby self up by using the television as support and the reason I was wanting to stand up was because I wanted to touch the cartoon version of Michael on my TV. As I’m not old enough to have been around when the first show was aired I’m sure it was a rerun or perhaps a special but I remmeber it. They were all jumping around but the one I liked the most and the one I tried to catch with my hand was Michael….That is when I fell inlove. Throughout my life on a variety of venues I would see Michael Jackson. He would show up at various award shows and when he would perform oh wow it was bliss. I loved him. I got a tingly feeling all over my body, one that I would argue rivals the feeling I have felt when falling in love. It wasn’t an obsession. At no point did I start to collect pieces of hair or even every copy of his music in various forms but I did own a casette of off the wall and I played his cd’s over and over again. I can’t begin to tell you how great it was to see interviews when he’d reveal small details that made me respect him even more as an artist and as a person.  I’ve never fainted at seeing him in person because sadly…I never got the chance to see him in person. As I was young and he was young I was always waiting for that moment in which he’d announce another set of North American tour dates and I was going to be there. Recently I curiously thought how cool it would be to see all the Jackson 5 get back together just once more and part of me really thought it was going to happen one day. I loved Michael Jackson so very much that at this point I simply can not be online and part of me barely is leaving the house. There are far too many reminders all over the internet. Also I am completely off all network television. I’ve started playing xbox for the first time in my life. I simply can’t deal with any of the news surrounding his leaving us. I’m not sure how much time it will take for people to stop talking about it but as people love the dirty details of life then this will take some time. I loved Michael. Purely and true. I’m not talking about a fan who just thought he was cool or even just adores his work. After all I love Joss Whedon but when he dies (heaven forbid it’ll be anytime soon) I will be sad but I won’t mourn like this. I’m also not talking about a person who is obsessed with him ( I suppose if I were then I would be heading to the viewing but logically I just can’t). I’m not even talking about how you’re in love with someone in a relationship but just pure love. Not asking anything more of him except for what he had already given me….wonderful music, a great spirit, and most importantly something extraordinary put into the world whose likes will never be seen again. So this is my brief forway into the internet for the first time in a week and I say it here publically because love should be shared with the world (yes that is cheesy).  But Michael should any of the various theories exist where you are able to read this then please know that there is an ache in my heart because I do so very much miss you being in this world and I love you. You were…….Phenomenal.

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