Two Guys, a Girl and a Blog

This will be an ongoing, constantly updated blog about the Academy Awards (the oscars) currently airing on ABC

7:34 Ha “Thank God for teen pregnancy” Jon tells us about the depressing set of best picture nominations

7:36 Funny that Norbit got a nomination and it just took home almost all the razzies.

7:38 Ha Diablo Cody looks so out of place. I love it.

7:39 really an old oscar/republican joke and iraqi war/movie joke? Honestly Jon these jokes are not funny.

7:40 HAHAHA! “Usually when you see a black man or woman president usually an asteroid is about to hit the statue of liberty”

7:43 I could’ve swore that supporting actor or actress was first. Cheers to costume designer chick.

7:43 oh no! oh no! oh no! I was worried they’d go for previous show clips again. Oh God don’t let this be another night of a billion clips.

7:47 oh good nothing to be worried about. yay for clips.

7:50 not fair! not fair! You weren’t supposed to make me all weepy by showing me dead actors, actresses, directors, producers, etc until later. Hate chu oscars! Hate chu!

7:52 Heh yay for Carrell. Also Hathaway was a perfect pairing. Interesting category. Of course I think Persepolis will win but I’m hoping for Ratatouille. Ratatouille wins it. It really was an adorable movie and funny. Who knew how great Brad Bird was? Well…everyone yeah.

7:56 Yay Katherin Heigl. She is shaking! Wow. Okay makeup. Oh God please don’t let Norbit win it. Please God. I know its actually a good makeup job but c’mon its Norbit. Yay La Vie En Rose wins for best makeup

8:01 I dunno if it would’ve sucked or if they didn’t have time but I really think this was a missed opportunity for some fun cartoon animals on stage. It would’ve been nice to see 2d used again and well it would’ve been perfect for the song. Enchanted is delightful btw. Totally delightful. I hope it wins. It seems almost impossible for it to not but I hope they give it an oscar for each nominated song.

8:08 The Rock is simply awesome. Oh come on please let Transformers win. Awww damn it The Golden Compass wins for visual effects. Bah! The Polar Bear wasn’t THAT great. Boooo!

8:10 Great color on Cate. Horrible neckline. Ugh. Art Direction. Hmm I did actually think the Golden Compass deserved it but I adored the look of Sweeney Todd and There will be blood (please excuse while I make required I drink your milkshake reference) Yay Sweeney Todd wins for Art Direction. Johnny Depp is so hot even the art direction people feel the need to thank him.

8:14 Cuba Gooding. Oh how you’ve done so much crap since then.

8:15 ooo Supporting Actor handed out by the awful, awful J.Hud. Javier Bardem no? Can it really be anyone else? Oh that was great.Philip Seymor Hoffman just reacted to a clip of his performance with a smug look of “Oh yeah I kick ass”. For that I kinda hope he wins but he won’t.

8:18 Yup Javier Bardem. Heh Tommy Lee Jones is looking away as he’s being thanked. Ooo he’s speaking spanish now. He took our Oscar!

8:22 Jon will now translate Javier’s acceptance using his high school learned Spanish. “I believe he told his mother where the library is”

8:24 I never thought Keri Russell would make it in movies. She seemed perfect as a television actress somewhat meant to stay in the background. The best friend of no true note.

8:25 Raise it up is being performed. It’s really good. Okay I’ve changed my mind. I want it to win. I have no more loyalty to Enchanted. Ya hear me? It’s gone to Raise it Up and August Rush. I also wish I had seen this movie.

8:28 ooooo Owen Wilson! Owen Wilson! C’mon make a joke about suicide. Do it! DOOOOOOO IT!!!!!!

8:30. He didn’t but did present the oscar to les mozart des pickpockets for best foreign film

8:31 It really is a night of a thousand clips. Jerry Seinfeld (as the cgi bee) is going to present outstanding animated short film. He starts by showing us his earlier bee work…so yeah they showed clips of bees in movies. Get it? OMG. I’m ready for the show to end now. Peter and the Wolf won it. Thats who I had on my sheet. No really. Sure I hadn’t watched it but….

8:40. Supporting Actress presented by Alan Arkin (pssst he was in Little Miss Sunshine). Ruby Dee is owed but I kinda think Cate or Tilda has this one. Tilda Swinton (who I adored in Constantine) wins Best Supporting Actress. Oh snap she mentioned Batman and Robin to George Clooney. Nice.

8:45 ooo sci tech awards. good time to see what else is on tonight. Law and Order, Simpsons Rerun, The Game, Meh.

8:46 Josh Brolin and James McAvoy present adapted screenplay. Yay Jack Nicholson mention. Can’t believe it took this long. Nominees Atonement, Away from her, the diving bell and the butterfly, no country for old men, there will be blood. Anything bout There will be blood. ….YES! NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN!

8:50 Is he gonna tell me to not download? Oh this is actually a fun way to “learn” about the oscar voting process. HA superdelegates do not vote. Tee.

8:52 REAAAALLLY Miley Cyrus? REAALLLY?

8:53 “Thats how you know” will now be performed from Enchanted. Ya know what? Screw you Raise it up. I’m all about Enchanted again. I want it to win best song. It deserves to take it all.

9:02 Heh honestly please do 5 more movies together guys. I dont care if you barely share screentime just do it. I love you that much. Once again c’mon transformers! The Bourne Ultimatum. Pfffft Best for Sound Editing. I miss how they showed clips of each last year. Oh snap did I say I miss clips?

9:05 ooo 3:10 to Yuma deserves Sound Mixing and yet is it too much to ask that Transformers be oscar winning? Heh yes because the frikkin Bourne Ultimatum takes it again. ARGH!

9:12 Are we really up to best actress already? Um who? who? I want Ellen to win. She won’t but I can’t help but hope for the little indie movie that could. Marion Cotillard. Well not at all shocking. She was the favorite.

9:18 Wii Playage! This is a young, hip, game playing oscars!

9:19 Hey Colin. Hey baby. Mm yeah. Introduce that Once song.

9:26. Thanks for those 79 years. Film Editing! I really do like this category. Bourne, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Into The Wild, No Country for Old Men, There Will be Blood. Anything but there will be blood. C’mon YES Bourne Ultimatum. WoooT!

9:30 Ha IMDB reference. So hip. So hip.

9:38 zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

9:43 Uh um foreign film eh? I’m gonna go with the counterfeiters. ha I was right.

9:45 Ha “The versatile and handsome Patrick Dempsey” what a way to be introduced.

9:46 really Enchanted had some good Oscar movie music in it.

9:49 okay what ARE they slipping/tripping on? Clean up on Oscar aisle. Clean up on Oscar aisle. Also I’m gonna break Travolta’s legs. Ya ya you dance. Enough!

9:50 OMG ONCE Wins! ONCE WINS! Enchanted had 3 songs. It was the ONLY SONG I HATED! ARGH!!!!!!! I HATE YOU OSCARS AND YOUR STUPID OVERDRAMATIC LOVE OF ALL THIS MELANCHOLY!

10:00 oh fine but let this be There Will be Blood’s only win! Production Design btw

10:02 sick—-> I assume Heath will win the clap off. He did. Though Kerr was very much second.

10:20 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

10:24 unless youre one of the other nominees then how could you not want Diablo to win? She did! Horrible dress. horrible! Still yay

10:30 she totally said something inappropriate to Harrison Ford offstage. “Ya think Chewie is a furry?”

10:35 Oh fine. He was quite good in the role. Yay for Daniel Day Lewis winning Best Actor

10:43 Yea. Go ahead Cohens!

10:45 Oooo who shall it be? No Country for Old Men!

10:48 Really sub par.  Jons first time was genius. This time was just not good. I know he had no time to prepare but that doesn’t stop me being disappointed that he’d find a way to pull off a great and entertaining show. The wii playing did not do it Jon and I bet you take tomorrow night off of the daily show. Pffft. lazy. Oscars telecast gets a boo from me.